The following are real exchanges between husband and wife dealing with sex addiction while the husband is in jail as part of our Consequences of Sex Addiction Series. Sex Addiction is real and we hope these letters inspire you to get help and/or make a change if you’re facing similar circumstances.
One of the biggest emotional challenges I face is the issue of loneliness. While I am surrounded by people all of the time it would seem that I should never be lonely. In some ways that is true, but the reality of this emotional characteristic is that it creeps up on you and grabs you at particular times. Meaningful events, family gatherings, dinnertime, times that bring back fond memories. My loneliness stems from the fact that I miss the people in my life that mean the most to me and that being incarcerated keeps me from. It’s funny, I don’t miss my stuff (things I spent a lot of time and money accumulating). I miss the people! My wife, children, grandchildren, my mother, siblings, extended family and friends (and of course my dogs!). Those who filled my life with joy and sometimes aggravation.
So, I spend my time doing the best I can to stay connected. Writing letters or emails, sending pictures, regular phone calls and visits truly help ease the pain of the separation and allow me to remain connected with them. Another good way to help fight the loneliness is to stay busy doing things you enjoy or are challenging. Such things as taking classes, working, exercise, art projects, sports, music, reading, etc. Many inmates try to push family away so they don’t miss them so much. I don’t recommend it. Spend your time on the people who matter in your life. Both you and they will be happy you did.